Double Bubble Bubble Gun

When did I stop caring so much about my family?
As much as I find it disturbing to think that I don't give a flying fuck about the intricacies of everyday life that used to make moments worth living, I really don't miss the excitement regarding it infectious anymore.
Is that sad?
Am I morally obligated to find the everyday utterly fantastic?
I mean, I hear the same story, 5 different ways, 5 different views, and each tone is still just wanting me to accept and relate.
But, I'm sorry, I can't do that anymore.
Please, if your lives are so miserable, fix them. Take matters into your own hands, step up, find courage, do whatever means necessary and just live.
Stop living in fear, stop looking back and move forward.
For fucks sake, we weren't raised to rely but on anyone but ourselves, yet here we are - myself including - finding crutches to make our life easier.
Why?
Do we do it because we've given up?
Do we really feel so low about ourselves and our worth to just say 'here, help me, don't leave me, I need you/it/this'?
I don't think so. I really don't.
But it's almost as if the easiest way out is the only way out when you really have lost all creativity...

Sorry.

Maybe...

I'm going to write something here.
I want to.
But I don't know what it's going to be...
Here's something old, that I wrote awhile ago::

"I would hate to be your downfall
The entire free lull;
It's the googleplexities,
The needing of your extremities.
Dying outside, and rotting from my core.
The low.
So low.
I lost your voice,
Hello?"

Yeah. It doesn't make sense. Much like everything else I've been thinking lately.
It's all just a mess, a compository of thought that refuses to sort itself out.

How can one want something that's never been had?...

The New Cities

The New Cities
Dead End Countdown



Lyrics:
Exiled and pushed away, lost in time
Always I’ll be,
This bitter person who’s
Stuck right here, disillusioned.
Don’t stand by
If you don’t like what you see.
So once satisfied,
No I won’t take what you said to me

Give me some time, give me some reason
Make up your mind, cool off the fever.
Drama must die, so give me some way
To salvage this life,
Finally it’s over

You oughta stay away, till you see
What runs through me
Unless you get this game,
The only one I wanna blame

My promise is cold, you’ve never been told
There’s nothing to hide, I never did lie
There’s no way to win
When love is in vain
I won’t take what you said to me

Give me some time, give me some reason
Make up your mind, cool off the fever.
Drama must die, so give me some way
To salvage this life
Finally it’s over.

Dead end countdown (4x)

I know we’re stuck inside a dead end countdown,
With no communication.
Straight down, we’re drowning in the respiration.
We’re lost beneath the surface.

Give me some time, give me some reason
Make up your mind, cool off the fever
Drama must die, so give me some way
To salvage this life
Finally it’s over.

Give me some time, give me some reason
I know we’re stuck inside
Give me some time, give me some reason
Now we’re stuck inside

Dead end countdown (4x)

----
first verse speaks to me when the rest of the world goes quiet.
goodnight.